Swimming Out of Rock Bottom
What does it look like? It looks like a rain covered window, a locked door, the sun shining but on the other side. It looks like misunderstanding, it looks like living with walls and no windows…it feels like a sinking ship with your feet securely glued to the ship's floor. It feels like a world with no trees or the wind has stopped leaving your sails slack. There is a piece of you that you have always known but she cannot emerge around the surface of the ego who traps you. She cannot get the air she needs to breathe the good breath that tells her that she is alive, and all is well. Perhaps time will heal all.
A glimpse of the surface appears to her and the energy flows upward as the waves crash to the beach and the ocean's simple breath reminds us …so your breath follows the rhythm and for a time the chatter stops. Then in it comes again…the ego conjuring up tales of tidal waves and death as the empty shells roll back and forth in the waves. A deep emptiness returns, and joy is a world away.
Whatever you have tried and attempted didn’t work. Medication and drugs keep life flat…no emotion is better than feeling the contamination of the grip of the past and thoughts of an imagined future. Is it easier to pop the pill? Perhaps for some.
When I was very young, I had out of body experiences. I watched myself from outside of my body and being with other entities (luminous ones) and after that...if I walked alone or sat in the woods I could channel. I would recite long poems and songs that were not my voice. I could hear them, and they were far more sophisticated than any 10-year-old could produce. I saw energy as I can to this day. I knew this other side of me. I found her and she had surfaced breathing the air. With air came potential. I can always feel her.
I have hit rock bottom more than once. The channeler disappeared, I let her go with no one to tell and no mentor to guide this gift. Much of my life I felt alone in my beliefs and certainly have felt misunderstood. The non-accidental deaths of high school friends stuck in my skin and shaped a mistrust. The pain of their deaths formed a thick protective wall and while personable and friendly enough to make friends I was unable to get close to anyone. Early childhood and high school events formed an opinion that when things are going well, they could only end in tragedy. An addiction to a kind of sadness and the feeling of an inevitable end to all that is good was always present. This was a feeling of deep despair as my true self was floating down to the bottom of the endless sea.
As I sit here, I think, “If only I would have known.” Known about staying present and dedicated to yoga meditation practices. A practice discovered on a bus trip back from NYC in my late teens. It would be an amazing and profound shift for me but imagine if children were taught to understand this simple concept from the go and be given the tools to keep the darkness of the mind chatter at bay where their rainbow souls can shine, be free, and reach their extraordinary potential. The lasting results of this practice would help people deal with emotions and conflict through the breath and to process life through a lens that is clearer. The added benefit is that once engaged in this practice acceptance follows. This acceptance is about starting where you are no matter what the circumstance. Consistency is key and I am still learning this very important piece of it.
3 minutes of practice a day can serve you very well. There are multitudes of mind-body benefits. For me several short or one or two long sessions in the morning and at night are imperative. It keeps me swimming upward. It helps with day to day struggles and gives you pause for better resolve. I change it up because there are many things that I love that are meditative. I like to experiment but when I find something that works, I stick to it for a time. Change is good.
Here are a few of the meditations that can change the direction of your energy. Shifting energies is what it takes!
• Sit in an upright position on a cushion, pillow or blanket that is comfortable. Chest open shoulders back.
• Take three long deep breaths into your belly
• Put one hand on your heart chakra (chest) and one on your solar plexus (mid-belly) and feel the breath move into the belly.
• Leave the breath out through the mouth
• Breathe in again and imagine breathing in the beautiful energy of golden or white light
• Imagine breathing out the gray and stuck energies that weigh you down.
• Do not worry about thoughts that may enter. Accept them without judgment and leave them go
• Do not worry that you can only stay in mediation for a short time. You will improve with time!
Meditation Two, be Kind to Yourself: (By Kristen Neff)
• A three-step contemplation to give yourself the compassion you need (and deserve).
• Put both hands on your heart, pause, and feel their warmth. You can also put your hand anyplace on your body that feels soothing
• Breathe deeply in and out.
Speak these words to yourself, out loud or silently, in a warm and caring tone:
This is a moment of suffering.
Suffering is a part of life.
May I be kind to myself in this moment.
May I give myself the compassion I need.
A Kundalini Breath to Get Your Clear and Focused by Guru Jaggat. This was put out by Yoga Journal.
I love this one and have saved it on my laptop. While I can do this anywhere and no the rhythm I really like to do it along with this short video.
Getting the breath even and working on Pranayamic breathing is a great way to change your vibe! Guru Jaggat does it best!
(click the yellow to bring up a new page with this video)
Some other ways to Shake the Energy Vibe:
Every thought we have is a vibration.
When we feel on top of the world, we send a matching frequency that attracts those good events back in our lives. Equally, when the flood waters come in, we feel like we have lost our way. We can spend our time procrastinating and worrying as our momentum gets lost or we can implement some of the following to change the flow. It may be difficult but taking just one step forward can shift you.
• Visiting the Trees (Studies suggest a shift in the brain connected to emotional stability)
• Find a body of flowing water. (Ocean, Lake, River) Swim.
• Do something fun. (I like Mini-Golf)
• Hang out with Animals
• Do an online guided meditation
• Listen to uplifting music
• Look at a child’s face (Feel their presence and happiness)
• Engage in body movement. (Yoga - 30 minutes)
• Use a series of positive language affirmations (Put them on your fridge)
• Draw, Write or Paint (The focus of these activities is like mediation)
• Create a vision board and make a goal (shift your attention to your next step)
• Volunteer your time to a charity organization (Giving back feels great!)
• Journal things that are good in your life. (Daily Gratitude)
• Change up your daily routine (Being stuck on Auto Pilot sucks the life out you)
• Create a Mandala from anything. See the circle. Return to it and add or take away as the energy moves you. Use intuition!
It doesn’t take much to change or get started but it does take the initiative. Take the first step and feel yourself float, breathe and ride the waves instead of the endless feeling of sinking ship.
I must practice a deeper meditation when the pirated boat of despair sails toward me. I draw my sword made of shining light and make my mandala out of shells in the sand. I ask for the energy to change my light and delight in sun-salutations on the water’s edge.